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      There is simply no excuse for a shoe like this – 70s revival or no, creating a monster like this one and charging innocent people £700 for the privilege of owning it ought to be a criminal offense!

      The ‘experimental’ statement shoes are straight out of Austin Powers, and consist of a calfhair slipper on a matching platform with totally clear sole. The only thing it’s lacking is a fish…and that price tag! What’s going on there? et’s think of all the more fulfilling ways we could spend seven hundred quid.

      A decent second-hand car, perhaps? Or how about a lovely new piece of furniture. A once-in-a-lifetime designer handbag? Flights to Las Vegas? A diamond ring? Hell, even ploughing it all into the council tax bill would feel like a better use of that sum.

      Made by Simon Rocha, the mid-heeled courts are available to buy here if you decide that a pair of perspex-soled leopard print platforms are what has been missing from your life.

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